I am especially bad at making boundaries. I love people entirely way too much and always see the good in them. I don’t want to put myself first. I want the people that I know somewhere in their hearts have good intentions first. I’ve dated plenty of addicts and just mean people with this outlook. I’ve let people metaphorically run over me repeatedly with the same vehical that I literally picked them up in to give them a ride across town with. If you are someone that knows me well, you would say I have the fix a sick bird syndrome. I think I can save someone so I let them hurt me because well “they just don’t know what they’re doing”.
I have fought my whole life to abandon this outlook on life because I know that I DO need to take care of myself first even though I do not want to. I’ve been taking measures to get this way and I’ve learned something. When you go your whole life as a do-gooder to someone that respects themselves and makes boundaries to protect your mind, body and soul people will hate you for it. Maybe they don’t understand or grasp why youre doing this all of a sudden. It must be because you hate them.
I don’t REALLY hate anybody. I dislike some of you but for the most part I have a healthy heart that hasn’t been darkened. I am simply just choosing myself instead of you. I am choosing to wake up every morning in a good mood because I dont owe anyone but myself anything. I live my life on a seperate border as you and although they may intersect and we may be friends I do not owe you my full self. I do not wake up every morning with the thought that I must do these things my friends want from me or else I will have a horrible morning. I go to work for myself, I pay my bills for myself, and I live happily for myself.
I’m not a hateful person by any means. I have friends that I don’t mind doing favors for because I know they deserve it. That’s what friends are after all. That doesnt mean for you to expect me to do stuff for you all the time because “well what’s different now? You used to give me rides all the time.” Whats different is that I have learned to value myself in turn making me able to be a better person all together. I hope other people read this that have the fixing the wounded bird syndrome and learn that boundaries are mandatory for a better mind, body and soul.