You’ll be okay again, you always are.

Something I have been struggling with the past few years is trying to figure out where I belong. Who loves me & who claims to love me when things are going positively for them. There’s been moments when I’ve seperated myself from the group of friends that I’ve called my family for quite some time now because I felt no one in that group really understood me or even cared to. It’s one of those times again. I can’t really seperate myself with the position that I am in this time. Feeling like no one is on your team or really cares is one of the worst feelings ever. 

My hearts broken right now because I lost someone that I considered a best friend. It stung like hell. Not really going to elaborate on what when why who or where because that’s not my point here. My point is maybe everyone feels like this sometimes. That they’re not valued or even recognized for who they are as a person. It’s not just me, I’ve always been aware of that. That doesn’t make it hurt less though. 
No one feels my pain, sadness, or anger exactly how I do. That’s when you realize you only got yourself. And it’s shit. Because you want them to know exactly what you feel. Even the people that really really love you and are by your side don’t quite get it. You have to feel it. You have to wake up with a variety of emotions. 
Just know that no matter what, put yourself first. Your mental health, your physical health, and your overall well-being first. I don’t care if you have a husband or a best friend that will always be by your side. You must take care of yourself and make your decisions based on you. But, still always keep in mind that EVERYONE feels that way sometimes. They feel they don’t belong. They’re not the same as everyone else. 

Stop comparing yourself and know that you’re loved. Even if it’s only your mama that tells you that you’re beautiful. You’re loved. Things will fade and you’ll be okay again. You always are. I always am.

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