Your scars don’t mean anything to me anymore
It was a new day. Being techincal of course because it was exactly 1:17 AM when your eyes stopped sparkling so bright to me. There was no spectacular event that brought this to my attention. It was a regular night. Often something comes to my mind, flickers, and then shuts off. The thought is a day dream of being treated correctly. It feels like such a distant fantasy that someone could really care for me as much as I care for people.
@ 1:12 AM I realized your hands no longer radiate warm colors like burnt orange because they never held mine with passion to brand your fingerprints into mine.
@ 1:13 AM I discovered your freckles and scars weren’t an outline to a puzzle. They were just insignificant dots.
@ 1:14 AM I noticed your cheeks weren’t faintly pink from non-stop giggling because of how silly we could be with each other.
@ 1:15 AM I became aware that your jaw never dropped in awe as if you were curious of how someone could be so beautiful.
@ 1:16 AM I figured out your nails were never slightly overgrown because you spent too much time with me that you lost touch of reality.
@ 1:17 AM I made sense of why your eyes became so dim to me. It’s because I looked in the mirror and I found that my hands radiated warmth. My freckles and scars told stories that one day I could share with someone. My cheeks were always pink I always find a reason to laugh. My jaw dropped everyday because I look around and see how beautiful this chaotic world is. My nails were always overgrown because there are always more important issues at bay. In that moment, my eyes sparkled because I had to fall in love with myself to fall out of love with you.
This is the post excerpt.
STOP! Stop comparing yourself to the girls you see on the Internet or on TV. I’m guilty of this. I have my favorite Youtube star that I watch all her videos and adore all her outfit choices. I sit there loving her new CropTop that I know my body wouldn’t look as fabulous in. I sit there and judge myself and wishing I had a body like hers, money like her. It’s just NOT FAIR!! right?
Well of course it isnt, because that’s just how the world is! “Life isn’t fair” Who heard that one from a parent growing up? Well, you know what? No life isn’t fair but one thing I’ve learned is that I have things that Youtube star doesn’t have. I’m not bashing her she has great qualities (obviously; or there wouldn’t be a point for this article) but there are things I can love about myself too. Sit down and list the qualities you love about yourself. It feels corny but trust me I’ve had to do it plenty of times with my psychologist and it helps! I’ll do it so you’ll feel less lame:
- I am firstly hilarious whether you agree or not, I laugh at my own jokes so HA!
- I have chicken legs; still haven’t decided if its a blessing or a curse but I can fit in cute small shorts even if I have a tummy because of this!
- I am an empath: and I never want to see my friends hurting and when I do I come forward to help. I feel for people’s situations and will do the even the simplest of things just to make someone’s day better.
- I love kids! and that’s a hard task. They’re very much rascals sometimes.
- I have big boobs. No one said I had to be PG or non-cocky, right?
These are just a few things I love about myself. No, I don’t like my tummy or how controlling I can be sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t work on those things. Motivation to lose weight or become a better you is one of the hardest things to do. I’ve struggled with lack of motivation my whole life. Once you get it, Grab on to it and don’t ever let it go. My motivation comes in waves but I don’t want to ever let it go. I don’t know when it will be back. Stay positive my girlies, and love yourself. So cliche, but so true. If you don’t love yourself, who will?