The stages of recovery

This isn’t just a waste of time, addictions have made me smarter
But you can’t be high all the time

I am happy. That doesn’t sound right or even really feel true but something about thinking about this fucked up unjust world we live in makes me think: “Shit, I really am happy”. Life is hard and I’m not really where I thought I would be or really where I want to be at all. Tragedy is all around me but when I think hard enough about laughing with my man and screaming catch phrases with my best friends I feel okay and really,thats what happiness is. Contentment. As humans, we want it to be more. We want it to be everlasting joy but joy only hits for a few seconds or if you catch me on a good night of drugged bliss, 4 hours. Happiness in the eyes of an adult is contentment. Thats all I could ever ask for and I have recieved it.

 

>>>Reporting back a few months later

This was all a lie. Happiness is more. You will find more than contentment, I promise. Don’t stop your search now. The sun just came up. You can seach better with the right lighting.